Bhakti Wisdom

When I first came to the temple, the leader of the ashram invited me to his room and revealed to me the glories of Vrindavan dhama. The room was full of different photos of Krishna in Vrindavan. While explaining to me what each photo represented, I could see the great attachment and emotions which he had for this place.

Noticing that I was keen to learn more, he showed me a special video about Vrindavan Dham.

Govardhan Hill, cows, peacocks, saintly people in every corner, holy names chanted by everyone – all this was impressive and very attractive to me, but one person captured my heart. On this video there was one sadhu who played a simple beat on the mrdanga and chanted the holy names of Krishna, while resting his back on the wall of the old house. He was in his early forties and was wearing a simple white dhoti and kurta. Next to him was a small boy trying to imitate him by repeating the mantra he had heard.

The moment I saw this sadhu I noticed a strong desire to become like him manifest in my heart.

I haven’t seen this video since that time, but that sadhu has always stayed in my heart and has often been a source of inspiration for me whenever I would remember him.

While chanting my japa I would often remember him and my japa would instantly improve.

Reflecting on my spiritual life I’m meditating, where is this enthusiasm for hearing from sadhus gone?

Why don’t I have the same respect towards devotees that I used to have in those beginning years?

In the beginning years of my spiritual life I had only one goal – to learn about Krishna and make progress, but now years have gone by and my motive has changed.

The desire for prestige, fame and recognition entered my heart and these are are the source of envy towards others who are more advanced than me, and this is the reason why I cannot hear from them.

Surrender (Bhakti Tirtha Swami)- When we become willing to appreciate the achievement, excellence, or endowment of another person, then we will want to hear from them because we want to advance. But if we are envious, our growth will be blocked.